How to survive Australia!

The subheadings should have been...how to survive a computer upgrade or/and the installation of 'Lightroom' in time to enter the magnificent photographs unadulturated into competitions or the interior painting of your house. BUT I will take each topic one at a time.
As per usual I couldn't resist reading some booklets I found in my bookshelf...the house painting had forced me to donate 6 boxes of books to the children book fund...but these topics I couldn't resist to read again while the painters swooshed their brushes over my walls. And I will never part with these books...NEVER!
Robert Treborlang...you are my hero!! Wherever you are today your books have had me curling up in laughter. At last I have discovered where I have been going wrong in the 57 years of my stay in Australia. I have been living under the false impression that I was /am a true-blue Aussie. Not so old girl! But I wasn't even ten years old when I came to Australia and began my denial of being German-born. Not so Old Girl! I have been speaking Aussie since that day of arrival. Perhaps, was the answer.
Let me explain: 'How to survive Australia', 'How to be normal in Australia', 'How to make it big in Australia', says it all! It explains to me why I have been living on the edge of society. forced to live that is...bullied at school and in my working life for being different... too smart, too tall, too opinionated, too successful, too outspoken, too good-looking (when young), single parent and refusing to marry, too critical and judgemental...I get it now...I have been living on the wrong continent wearing my German mantle, something I have never considered before until reading these wonderful books by Robert Treborlang.  If you are not original Australian read these topics...'Are you surviving Australia? For a start...Don't ask questions, always seem busy, never be interesting, how to have nothing to say, never draw conclusions, how to be moody, how not to make requests, never criticise, never praise (unless expected), how to be low key, not to dress well, how to recognise a tall poppy, never question ancestry, why losers are heroes' and much more. Try reading the books. You will be amazed! I now know why so many Australians have become ex-pats! Why didn't I discover all this before now? Enough is enough!! For all the other topics I will continue in my next POST.